Frantic Frigates

Frantic Frigates is far from the best browser game I've ever played. There are more innovative, more artistically successful, more outright FUN games out there.

But I haven't played ANY of them nearly as long as I played Frantic Frigates. Why? Very simple answer: it's stupidly addictive, and just frustrating enough that it kept me hooked. For, uh, too many hours.

Concept

You're a pirate. You don't like other pirates. Or sharks. You kill everything that comes near your ship.

... yep.

With a game like Frantic Frigates, you don't need a plot. You just need an objective: blow the ever-loving shite out of anything that comes near your pirate ship. You're especially good at this because your ship automatically fires on anything that comes close - you just have to worry about steering. Go as long as you can, fighting through massive waves of enemies and three bosses on a large plane of water, until you die.

On the first go through, this concept is pretty boring. It's not until you die and start AGAIN that the game becomes novel, as you begin with slightly more money to upgrade your ship the second time through - and the better you do on subsequent attempts to beat the game, the more money you have to start. Consequently, the game gets easier and easier, you get farther and farther, and your determination to see everything there is, to beat every last pirate, grows with each attempt. (Did for me, anyway.)

Controls

Frantic Frigates couldn't be a simpler game to learn when it comes to controls, as the ship shoots on its own. All YOU have to do is make sure you don't stray into enemies with the mouse. This is as easy to do with a track pad as it is a proper mouse, so this is one of those rare games which you can play on a laptop, on its own, with no detriment to your skill.

Does that mean the controls are easy to MASTER? Noooo. The game gets pretty damn frantic (hence the name), to the point that the screen is literally filled with enemy bullets by the end:

I died getting that screenshot for you. I hope you all appreciate that.

My only complaint about the controls comes whenever you accidentally move your mouse off the screen, as your boat is (usually) screwed thereafter. Would locking the mouse ONTO the screen for the duration of the game be possible?

Graphics

Frantic Frigates is not that impressive graphically, as the ships are all pretty damn generic. That said it's still pretty enough to look at, as the animation is smooth and without any significant visual glitches. Unfortunately the action also slows down significantly when there are a ton of bullets flying about on the screen, which... actually that's kinda helpful for the later battles. Still, lagging can be a pain, so you'll need a powerful computer to prevent full slowdown.

Sound

Sea shanties. The whole lot. Nothing terribly impressive - the music that plays the majority of the time sounds like it's been pulled straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean and tweaked a little bit to avoid lawsuits - but it's appropriate.

Challenge Rating

You'll see the above screen a lot. A LOT.

Frantic Frigates is hard. That's probably the main reason I played for so long - I became obsessed with beating the damn thing. (Still haven't, as of this writing. SO CLOSE) It's similar to old scrolling shooters like Gradius and R-Type in that there's very little margin for error, and one little foul up will spell your doom. Very frustrating... and enough that the game drives you into Zen-esque periods of near meditation where you don't think about what you're doing, you just DO.

Surprisingly, however, your early forays into Frantic Frigates will challenge you most via the upgrade system. It's wonderfully implemented in that you can only have a certain number of upgrades per game, and by upgrading certain elements of your ship - say, your firepower or speed - you lose out in others. Discovering which elements best suit your play style is key to overall victory. (I find treasure to be vitally important for gaining levels and more starting money, but that's just me.)

Conclusion?

If you're going to play Frantic Frigates - and you should, it's pretty fun - set aside a few hours to do so. Once you start, you won't want to stop until you down that goddamned ghost frigate and beat the game.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear piratical horns calling my name.

PLAY FRANTIC FRIGATES

Pursuit of Hat

Ever wondered what it would be like to rip your limbs off... and then be able to put them back on, easy as you please? And perhaps even use this unique - and rather grotesque - ability to solve puzzles? No? Well, play Pursuit of Hat anyway, 'cause that's exactly what happens.

Concept

The title of the game kinda gives away the story, but for those who can't catch a hint, Pursuit of Hat is about this blobby little guy:

Who is on a crusade to retrieve this:

And, for some reason, the universe just won't let him have it. Won't stop him from trying, though - and he's willing to constantly dismember himself (in the cutest way possible, of course) to solve the challenges between himself and his beloved bowler. In summary, this is a puzzle game.

What makes Pursuit of Hat truly unique, however, is the use of body parts. Your little dude can rip his arms, legs and even body away from his head and toss them onto switches or platforms, and each time he does he becomes a little less... capable. Makes perfect sense, overall, and greatly increases the difficulty of the levels - which is exactly what most puzzle lovers are gonna want.

Yep, you get to roll around as a head. Good times.


Controls

Unlike some other puzzlers, the controls of Pursuit of Hat are of paramount importance to solving each level, because timing is often as much a factor as deep thinking. And, fortunately, the controls are generally spot-on, if a little limited (which is the point).

Up, jump. Jump against a cliff, pull yourself up automatically. Down and space, rip off a piece of your guy's body. Down, pick up a piece. That's all there is. These latter two occasionally prove annoying, as you'll often inadvertently pick up a piece of body you've tossed away to solve a puzzle, but this is a minor flaw. The controls are, overall, easy to learn and use.

Graphics

Pursuit of Hat is a clean, cartoony title with pleasingly soft graphics. Anybody can appreciate this game's simple aesthetic, as it's just stylized enough to amuse. A little variety in the levels might have been nice, but you'll be too busy trying to solve puzzles to care much about the looks of your surroundings.

Sound

The score on Pursuit of Hat is pretty good for a browser game, with a selection of three songs - cycled between attempts - all of which are big band fare. I'm a sucker for horns, so I appreciated Pursuit of Hat's soundtrack despite the limited number of tunes.

Challenge Rating

Ahh, here's the important part: how difficult is Pursuit of Hat? Short answer, very. There are some devilishly tricky puzzles, and, as mentioned, you often have to time your attempts carefully to be successful. You also have a lot of different elements to work with - switches, tubes, cannons, moving platforms - that all contribute, in some way, to the overall puzzle. The resulting combinations are clever, and should please any puzzle lover.

The only real fault when it comes to challenge in Pursuit of Hat is that the game ends at 20 levels. I want more. (A level editor would be fantastic.)

Conclusion?

Pursuit of Hat is one of those rare browser games that leaves me almost entirely pleased - especially rare since I get easily irritated at puzzles. And true, you too will probably swear a few times while constantly resetting your game, but defeating a stumper feels so damn rewarding... even if the guy never REALLY gets his hat back.

PLAY PURSUIT OF HAT

The Engineer

Browser games are not typically known for eating up system resources, at least not on newer computers. That's one of the nice things ABOUT browser games, as most people with a 'net connection and Flash Player can play games whenever they like.

The Engineer... is not so friendly in that area. Though it's still pretty good!

Concept

The Engineer tells the violent tale of Zach Scrap, a burly mechanic-type facing off against hordes of robotic monstrosities, all bent on bringing his life to a grisly end. Why? No idea, because, sadly, I couldn't get the campaign mode to work. The menu refuses to access it, or the map editor, at least for me - and judging by the comments on the game, a lot of people are having similar difficulties with The Engineer. (At least I got to play the thing. I downloaded Flash Player 11 and it helped.)

Anyway. The skirmishing single player, map rating mode works for me, so I have a solid grasp of the game play: The Engineer is a tower defense game. Unlike other tower defense titles, though, The Engineer makes Zack Scrap the end point for the baddies:

Yes, that's Zach in the top-left corner. (He didn't last long after this.)

It's your job to guide Zach in setting up defensive towers in rocky, industrial terrain to keep him safe while shutting down these control terminals:

Grab scraps from your surroundings, and from the debris of fallen robots, and you can build more and more towers, or upgrade Zach's weapons and armour. Blow up all of the robots and deactivate all of the terminals (you need to stand close to 'em to do the job) and you'll complete the level.

Controls

The Engineer is a survival game, and so solid controls is absolutely essential. And, for the most part, they're not bad: Zach is easy to guide with the arrow keys, and you can lay down (and upgrade) towers by hitting Space. You can also fire Zach's gun by hitting the mouse button and aiming him in the direction of the mouse, but this is a bit more difficult than mere tower laying, and was more often my undoing than simply planting tower paths.

Graphics

This is a pretty game, but nothing overly amazing or special. I imagine the high requirements for a browser game are due to the sheer number of moving objects on the screen at one time, which is unfortunate as many computer users simply won't be able to play The Engineer. Otherwise... shrug? Graphically solid, if a bit generic.

Sound

Good sound effects, okay techno music. Problem is, like most browser games, the music gets replayed over... and over... and over. Muting is inevitable.

Challenge Rating

The Engineer is like most tower defense games, despite the added depth of having to control a character, in that it starts fairly easy and gets really hard, really fast. Unless you have extremely fast fingers - or you know EXACTLY where to place towers to maximize your kills - you'll probably just die on most maps. Unforgiving, but fun... and after a while, you'll get one of these:

Rather than just lots of blood on your screen:

Conclusion?

Technical problems aside - and I imagine they'll get solved EVENTUALLY, in which case I can revisit this review - The Engineer is pretty fun. It's more innovative than your average tower defense title, and though it's generally deeper than most similar titles it's easy to figure out even without instructions. Definitely worth playing, even if, like me, you can only play the user-created maps (which is fine, since there are lots of 'em).

PLAY THE ENGINEER